want to handle this in one listview, can I conditionally have a checkbox only on the optional rows??
On the new StrataListView, yes. Inherited and enhance list SF ListView, no.
I know how to updatae PDFBO from the listview selection once choices are made (that's why I'm not using new Stratalistview as there doesn't seem to be SelectedIndex expose )
Sure there is. I had a conversation with Greg through PM the other day and he was really wanting a SelectedIndices collection to be exposed. And though I will add this so people can retro fit code more easily, you don't need it. In the case of a checked list item on the new StrataListView, just call the GetCheckedItems() method and supply the column from which you are trying to get the checked items. It will return a collection of all of the items checked within that column without the need to deal with any index positioning or manualy enoerating the list.
foreach(StrataListViewItem i in sfListView.GetCheckedItems(1))
{
//-- It will return the full row, not just the sub-item. But only items with the checked box selected in the 2nd column in this example, will be returned
}