Is the best way to do this to creat each panel as a separate control and then do it that way?
This is kind of like asking, "how long is a string." You need to find where your speed issue truly is and then go from there. Yes you have a lot of controls on the form, but that may not be your primary issue. When we run into problems like this we begin disecting things until we discover the slowness. One good tool to help this is the Ants Profiler from Red Gate software (http://www.red-gate.com/products/ants_profiler/index.htm).
You said that you moved away from DevExpress and to Infragistics because of the speed issues. How much of a difference did you see in the speeds between the two?
This is why we created the Application Theme features in StrataFrame, so we have control of the application aesthetics and render time. We are only using Infragistics controls for things such as spell checking textboxes and currency editors, etc. Everything else we are using our own controls for our medical system. To put into perspective, rewriting portions of our application that were using the DevExpress controls versus our controls (in conjunction with some of the Infragistics editors) was more than twice as fast loading and in some cases 3 to 4 times. This was especially true for the first display of the control or form. Does the same form come up faster the second time it is launched while in the same session of your application? If so, then you definitely have assembly loading and rendering problems.
In short, we moved away from DevExpress because it dramatically slowed down the application.
guess I'm just worried that we made the wrong choice with using DevExpress and now we've done so much of the UI it would be a nightmare to start over with a different control.
I understand how you feel. This is why you need to truly understand where your problems are. It is frustrating, but it is better to correct a wrong now rather than down the road. I am not saying the DevExpress is the wrong choice as they have some good controls and tools, but if you are experiencing very slow performance, it would be a good idea to think about this.
You may also just want to think about how to restructure this form you have been discussing because I think that you have some design issues here as well that could be hindering performance.