Really Peter, you will probably not want to use the connection manager at all in this case but rather create a solution on your side to just manually add the data sources. This is actually what we do within our medical software (along with a number of other things). We actually prevent our end-users from ever entering a connection string on the client side altogether as we have a server service that we distribute with our medical software which "tells" all of the clients what their connection string will be. Now you don't have to take this approach, but you will still want to manually create your data source connections (which ultimately may save some installation steps anyway for your end-user).
To manually setup a connection string within the AppMain.vb, just comment out the SetConnections line...this is what forces the Connection Manager to do its thing.
Instead, manually add a connection like this:
MicroFour.StrataFrame.Data.DataBasics.DataSources.Add(New SqlDataSourceItem("","MyConnectionSTring"))
That is how you manually provide a connection string. Now you can get more sophisticated as to how the end-user to obtain this connection. As previously mentioned, we have a server service that all of the clients connection to first via an http request (you can also use a TCP socket). If the server cannot be found, a UDP broadcast is sent out to which the server will listen and then respond with it's own IP so the client knows how to connection to it...once the client knows the IP of the server, it connects on a particular port, and then the server gives it the connection string that needs to be used.
This is probably not the approach that you need, but it might get some wheels turing as to how you may need to connect. One other thought is that you can have a dialog that pops up with a combo asking which location a user is at or which database to which they want to connection which is populated froma network shared file. Once selected then you would know how to connect...this is just another approach and idea.
Hope this helps