Due to our high frustration level, we finally contacted Microsoft and worked through the issue. We were right...we weren't the only people with this issue as they were already in the phase of testing a hotfix. Their initial resolution was to just disable the XML documentation...which just flat out wasn't going to cut it. Though when you did this, the IDE was MUCH faster and the crashes subsided. Today we got a hotfix from Microsoft and so far so good. The Intellisense is much faster, we have our XML docs back, and hopefully this will keep the IDE from dying!
Here was the KB article that was referenced prior to this fix: http://support.microsoft.com/?id=946452 . Even though this article doesn't yet mention a hotfix, one does exist. Just place a call to MS support, tell them your issue, and you should be able to get this fix.